I say no.

I can't, I won't, I maybe not...
I have been saying no to all my friends and people for the invitation, not because I want to say no but my work keeps me long hours and I just cannot make it to 7pm dinner. It has been a great frustration for me especially I like to hang out with my friends. After I started working, I am losing a lot of friends, lots of hanging out time, losing patience, a lot of time tired,,,, and so on.

I think. You think. "What am I doing?" I fight. You fight. a little by little everyday to make more of ourself. I want to believe that what I do for living actually has meaning, I want to be responsible for what I am doing. I know in the head that all this weariness and long hours of working should not take away my life away, but it is tough to keep it sane!

I feel guilty when I say no to so many things, I feel guilty when I cannot do good at work, I feel miserable looking at myself tired. When it becomes like this, it is nooooo good. When you are not positive nor smiling or being unhappy, nothing good happens to you. I believe once you get out your feeling from deep inside, you should reboot your thinking and feeling. Always have a new phase, do not let the negative feeling gets you.