鳥のあたま

今日は朝から道を歩いていて、鳥のクビチョンパを道路の上に見つけてしまいました。午前９時半頃ですが、死亡時刻はしばらく前と思われる、頭だけころがっているので一瞬ギョッとしたのですが、見つめる訳にもいかず、しかしながら数秒目線があってしまい、、動揺。５分くらい「あれは、気のせいだった。」と言い聞かせてみたが、忘れられず一日中鳥の頭、ぎょろっとした目が頭の片隅から離れませんでした。

その時点で、今日は何かおかしいと、マドモワゼルは悟ったわけですけども、今日は朝から寂しいニュースが２件。仲の良い友達がスペインへ半年間旅だって行った事、身近な人が日本への帰国を決めたようだったこと。ニューヨークにいると、人の出入りがどうも激しいのですが、やっぱり近くにいる人が他国へ旅立って行くのは応援したいことでもあるけど、自分勝手にやたら寂しいものです。２４歳じゃなかったら、「やだぴ〜。びえ〜ん。」と言って、その友人の前で地面の上でジタバタしたいものですが、そうもいかず。大人って言うのは悩ましいですね。

お気づきの方も数名いるかと思いますが、最近微妙に、微妙にブログを良くしようという努力が行われています。目標は、毎日アップすること！ですが、体力の衰えを感じる私はその前にジムにでも行って、仕事が忙しくても文章を考えられるような脳みそ筋をつけなければならないと思います。あしからず。

I saw a dead bird head on the way to work this morning. I didn't mean to make an eye contact but somehow the dead bird head looked at me for a second. I tried to tell myself that was my imagination, everything was my imagination, but I failed and the image of the dead bird head was stuck in my head all day. It is very scary to think about especially when you are alone at small apartment like this.

Okay, let's change subject I spent enough time of thinking about the bird today.... It is always a question for International people in the United States whether or how long they should stay. When you stay in the United States for a while, you have many chances to see your friends off to another country. Some people decide to go back to home, some people decide to move on living in abroad. Whatever the case is, it is very sad and complicated feeling to have friends going away. As you get old, you worry more things about money, about family, about age, about work etc. Priorities in life changes. Values of life changes. You start thinking not only about yourself but others.

Matching dreams and realities is such a hard thing. You reason, compromise, make excuses, and finally make a decision. I feel like I care so much more things in my life than ever. When I was a little, all I care was the stuffed rabbit doll that I had. Now I appreciate to more things, more people, more happenings in the life.

Whatever the choice the person makes, there is always a story behind and by making decision, your friends may miss you but your vision gets clear, and sharper.....For my friends, who are leaving I wish you best of luck...!